Hey! this is after 27 days!
All the time I feel so hard to put some feelings into words, because that I will need to sink into deep thoughts of mine but hell all my friends know how much i shout/blab/laugh most of the time so its kinda difficult for me to quiet down. Why is it so hard when it comes to word, or to something serious?
When I daydream, I will imagine myself trying to make conversation with some big shots or maybe most unavoidably, my boss/superior and i can't even make a decent one.
It will go like HAHAHA! then YA, MAN! then HAHAHHHA! then "dot dot dot".
Am i just scaring myself?
I used to think that all grown up will know everything, they will know what to do.I don't have to think of what to do, they will tell me what to do! But am I not a future grown up? Parents had done their part in molding me into a person with good values. I have never doubted that I don't have any of that.I can be so sure, to tell you what kind of person I am and to tell you to do what is right.
Boy oh boy, was that ignorance?
Four years down the road, ever since I was 16, I have seen things that she has always been hiding from me. She makes sure that I grow up in a world that I think beautifully of, so that I would not lose hope like she did. Now I understand why she has this look in her eyes.
Life caught me off guard, pain came striking right inside, scars left behind, tears dry,soaking in insecurity&lost.
I know nobody likes to read pessimistic post, like what am I trying to prove right.
And because I know there will be people reading this, I think I have reserved way too much to actually type about what is real.
I want to be standing up, looking at the sky, and be proud of who I am.
Not to be letting fear getting into my way, not to be afraid of what you have got to say about me.
Just something to think about,
Every time you interrupt a person before listening and thinking about what they have to say, it doesn't make you a smarter person.
You are in a way stepping them.
You are in a way not treating them seriously.
If you think I am nonsense,
Well
I don't really care.
No comments:
Post a Comment